What is the "perfect" family? Most of us want to be the best parents we can possibly be. However, parenting is challenging and as the old saying goes, kids don't come with instructions. There is a societal expectation that we should be "good parents" but people are just supposed to know how to do that without any preparation. So we turn to thinking about our own childhoods and how our parents handled things to guide our parenting methods. This usually leads to ideas about certain behaviors we know we don't want to repeat - things we will never do! But later, in frustration, when our kids act out we find ourselves repeating things we thought we would never say, or reacting to things our parents reacted to without even being aware until afterwards (if at all).
I wrote an article for GoodTherapy.org about the ways that our childhood experiences can affect us as parents. You can read the article here: Seeking the Perfect Family . Really, no one is perfect, nor can we be. And we don't have to be! Children grow up to be happy and well-adjusted when they receive love and consistency from their parents. And that's the real goal of being a parent, right? Being aware of the impact of your own childhood on yourself as a parent and adjusting your methods accordingly is the best thing you can do help your children grow into emotionally healthy adults. I'd love to know what you think of the article. Please feel free to write a comment below!
I've listed below some books I recommend for additional reading on parenting. I hope you will find them helpful!
Resources for Learning More About Parenting Skills:
I can recommend a book which I've found helpful as a parent and I've recommended to many parents in my practice. It is called "Positive Parenting from A to Z" by Karen Renshaw Joslin. I love this book because when facing a child's unexpected behavior which pushes our buttons, it can be difficult to know the best way to handle it. The book has an alphabetical list of behaviors (for example: lying, talking back) and you can read exactly what to do and say in the situation in order to achieve the desired effect of getting your child to stop doing the undesirable thing. It also explains the reasoning behind using positive parenting techniques to help your child grow up to be a well-adjusted adult. Here is a link to find out more about the book: Positive Parenting A to Z
I have no connection to the author or the book other than having read it and thinking it's great.
Another book I recommend for helping parents understand the impact of their own childhoods on their parenting is called "Parenting from the Inside Out" by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed. This book clearly explains in understandable terms how our childhood experiences affect us, as well as how our words and behaviors affect our children throughout their development. To find out more about this book, you can click here: Parenting from the Inside Out
As I mentioned before, I have no financial stake in the resources I'm providing here.When I find out about something great, I like to share the information with anyone else who could benefit!
The last resource I will mention for now is a book for people who find themselves taking care of others - whether children, elderly parents, an ill spouse, or others in their lives - but wonder, "what about my needs?" It's called "Me Time: Finding the Balance Between Taking Care of Others and Taking Care of Yourself." This book was written by a colleague of mine, Jennifer Beall, a therapist in private practice with whom I share office space. Although we are colleagues, I do not benefit in any way from promoting her book. I just think it is a great resource for understanding the importance of taking care of oneself in order to remain healthy while taking care of others; and it has practical tips which the reader can apply immediately. If you want to learn more about this book, you can click here: Me Time
I hope you will be your best self today!
Cheers,
Laura J. Reagan, LCSW-C
www.laurareaganlcswc.com
I wrote an article for GoodTherapy.org about the ways that our childhood experiences can affect us as parents. You can read the article here: Seeking the Perfect Family . Really, no one is perfect, nor can we be. And we don't have to be! Children grow up to be happy and well-adjusted when they receive love and consistency from their parents. And that's the real goal of being a parent, right? Being aware of the impact of your own childhood on yourself as a parent and adjusting your methods accordingly is the best thing you can do help your children grow into emotionally healthy adults. I'd love to know what you think of the article. Please feel free to write a comment below!
I've listed below some books I recommend for additional reading on parenting. I hope you will find them helpful!
Resources for Learning More About Parenting Skills:
I can recommend a book which I've found helpful as a parent and I've recommended to many parents in my practice. It is called "Positive Parenting from A to Z" by Karen Renshaw Joslin. I love this book because when facing a child's unexpected behavior which pushes our buttons, it can be difficult to know the best way to handle it. The book has an alphabetical list of behaviors (for example: lying, talking back) and you can read exactly what to do and say in the situation in order to achieve the desired effect of getting your child to stop doing the undesirable thing. It also explains the reasoning behind using positive parenting techniques to help your child grow up to be a well-adjusted adult. Here is a link to find out more about the book: Positive Parenting A to Z
I have no connection to the author or the book other than having read it and thinking it's great.
Another book I recommend for helping parents understand the impact of their own childhoods on their parenting is called "Parenting from the Inside Out" by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed. This book clearly explains in understandable terms how our childhood experiences affect us, as well as how our words and behaviors affect our children throughout their development. To find out more about this book, you can click here: Parenting from the Inside Out
As I mentioned before, I have no financial stake in the resources I'm providing here.When I find out about something great, I like to share the information with anyone else who could benefit!
The last resource I will mention for now is a book for people who find themselves taking care of others - whether children, elderly parents, an ill spouse, or others in their lives - but wonder, "what about my needs?" It's called "Me Time: Finding the Balance Between Taking Care of Others and Taking Care of Yourself." This book was written by a colleague of mine, Jennifer Beall, a therapist in private practice with whom I share office space. Although we are colleagues, I do not benefit in any way from promoting her book. I just think it is a great resource for understanding the importance of taking care of oneself in order to remain healthy while taking care of others; and it has practical tips which the reader can apply immediately. If you want to learn more about this book, you can click here: Me Time
I hope you will be your best self today!
Cheers,
Laura J. Reagan, LCSW-C
www.laurareaganlcswc.com